Miscellaneous
This is non business related posts
I got a new iPhone today and I'm posting this while waiting for my truck yearly inspection. I should probably link in some twitter or other short message because a long blog will take a long time. Oh yeah, I've been working my day job a lot lately but I'm still making slow progress on my games. Expect to see one in about a month, around the time of the austin gdc. Now if only I had an easy way to do development while sitting here.
I've recently become involved in some projects outside of my company, Starlit Sky Games, and it's going to take me atleast another year to finish my next project for SSG. At my day job, I'm being kept busier as well. I've also been making great strides in my personal life. I just don't have the time to maintain this website, which is still on outdated 2 year old version of Community Server.
In short, I will be e-moving and shutting down this site over the next few weeks. For those who want to keep up with me, there will be several ways: I am TOgburn on gmail, myspace (http://www.myspace.com/togburn), and my new blog on spaces.live.com (http://togburn.spaces.live.com). All future posts will be on my spaces.live.
So, my divorce has been over for a while. In the end I got pretty darn close to what I wanted, which is much more than I was led to believe I would get in the biased Texas (US?) family law system. We have joint custody, with me having a little over half of Alexandria's time and determining primary residence and I had to give up very little. Of course, my attorney suggested I not talk about it or my daughter online anymore, so if you want details contact me privately. Suffice it to say, if there is something you feel strongly enough about, go for it; the only real loss would be if you never try.
Since then... Starlit Sky Games is back on track. I've begun work on my next game which will be an old-school 2d platformer and I will be looking for artist (anime style) and musician contractors soon. More on that in a future post.
Also, I've met a brilliant, sexy woman, but she needs to relax a little with a good massage. Yes, I know you are googling me now and that is an offer. ;)
Future posts will be a little more professional and business oriented, but I had to indulge my loyal friends who have been wondering if I was still alive and asking for an update.
My work laptop had a hard drive failure the middle of last week. I was working at about 8:00 pm when I heard the drive start scratching and struggling to read. Two minutes later I got a blue screen and a refusal to boot or even recognize the drive existed. Recovering from a hard drive crash is hard. Well, more annoying than hard. I backed up my dev data on a weekly basis, so I really only lost a few days worth of work. The annoying part is I didn't back up my favorites, RSS feeds, and Start Menu settings. Basically all the little things that really make a computer yours and make it comfortable. In the end, it's probably better to get a fresh start on favorites and feeds; if I can't remember it then I probably don't need to waste my time on it. But it's still really annoying to lose all those links I used once in a blue moon, but that took forever to find in the first place. I'm currently using a loaner laptop while I wait for my new one to be ordered. My old one was just a few months beyond old enough to be fully depricated so they couldn't fix it and I had to get a new one.
I do plan to add all those little things to my backup scripts so I don't have to go through this again.
Note: This post is a part of an article and series of blog posts about my ongoing divorce and custody battle for my daughter.
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I learned my next life lesson from an unexpected source, a complete stranger.
I took Alexandria in search of a Gymboree with a play area that one of my friends had told me about. The only one I knew about was in the Arboretum area. So, after I got off work I gave Alexandria a bath and got her dressed up, then we headed out. We found the Gymboree there, however it was only a small one with clothes. So we walked around and saw an Amy's Ice Cream. I asked Alexandria if she wanted some, and her usual response to any "Do you want ..." question is yes.
While we were eating our ice cream (a small mexican vanilla) I was talking to my friend on the phone about some of the events of the past few days. A young lady whom Alexandria had been waving to and smiling at overheard part of the conversation and we started talking. She talked about how when she was only 2 her parents got divorced. She couldn't remember much, but she did remember that every weekend her dad had her they would see a movie together. Even now, that is "their thing". She suggested that we do something similar to help keep a strong bond, perhaps even a weekly ice cream trip. After that her friend showed up and they left. I have Alexandria late on Wednesdays so that would give us more time to do something... Maybe it will be just getting ice cream and watching the people go by.
Life Lesson Learned: Have a Daddy Daughter Day. Something unique that the two of you do together, just spending time and building memories. It can be as simple as watching a movie or having ice cream. Just do it consistently week after week (or every 2 weeks, or any set time) and make it a priority. Make that your time together, bonding, and show that your time together is important enough that only extreme emergencies should interfere with it.
Things went from bad to worse. Apiwan took Alexandria and refused to let me see her for a week and a half. Anything else I could have put up with, but not kidnapping my baby and refusing to let me see her. So on July 21 I wiped out my savings, borrowed as much as I could from friends, hired an attorney, and filed for divorce. Because at the time she was holding Alexandria hostage, neither of us had filed yet, she apparently was legally able to do that. After I filed for divorce I was able to file for temporary custody orders and got Alexandria back part time. Now we are trying to work out a permanent schedule. The problem is I'm running out of money. I'm cutting my bills, turning up the A/C and trying to minimize my spending to have as much as possible for the looming custody battle.
My plan:
I'm going to give away Sky Defender for free and develop a few other small games. Why? To drive traffic to my site to ask for donations for my legal fund. Yes, I'm becoming an internet beggar. My daughter is the one thing that can cause me to swallow my pride and do whatever it takes to make sure she is in the best of care (with me). So over the weekend, I'm going to write up a timeline of the events that have happened and create a page to ask for donations. I'll also be adding a post to this sites main page with links to that page as well as all my early blog posts about my daughter. Over the next few weeks I'm going to create a flurry of free mini games to add to the page to help drive traffic. I will also probably be digging my old baseball cards collection out of the attic and try to sell them on eBay. If anyone needs any programming done, I'm more than willing to do work.
If any one is able to help me at this early stage it would be very much appreciated. My PayPal id is TOgburn+paypal@gmail.com.
My wife told me she was leaving me on July 2nd and moved out July 9th. I don't expect to post much or release my game anytime soon as I will be spending as much time with my daughter as possible. The stress on her and the dogs is horrible, I hate seeing them like this. When I pick her up in the afternoon she seems depressed, and the dogs don't eat during the day and just lay around. After I get her home she gets happier and the dogs go out and play, but I can definitely tell it is taking a toll on them. It just kills me inside that there's nothing I can do to help them or explain what is going on. :`(
Well, maybe not a monkeys uncle, but I am now an uncle. I just found out my older sister had her baby at 5:47 today. She is named Sara Elizabeth. I don't know size or anything yet, but I should find out everything this weekend.
My parents had 4 boys before they got their little girl, now as grandparents they have 2 grand-daughters in less than 7 months.
There's a new show on ABC named American Inventor. I saw the first episode tonight, there was a lot of stuff that was ridiculous and a few that were brilliant. There is no way I would stand on the street, wrap myself up in a piece of plastic and "go number 1". On the other hand, I would absolutely love to get my hand on a solar powered cooler with built in radio. The beach is the one place you really want to keep drinks air conditioned and cool, and has the sun to pull it off. Another excellent idea was the 1 person sandbag shovel. I personally don't need one, but I can see a lot of use for it in other areas of the country.
The kid was brave, smart, and a decent salesman, but there's no way here in Texas that I would leave my dogs in the truck in summer with 110 degree Farenheit temperatures. Not even with a little fan. It may work up north where it doesn't get quite so hot. He should definitely keep at it and I'm sure he'll come up with better ideas as he gets more life experience.
I don't care about the ladys psychology degree. I would not put my daughter in a bubble cage, and really not when she's acting up and teach her that being bad and violent is a fun, rewarded activity.
I think I'll like this show more than American Idol. Speaking of,... Simon is just a producer on this one, not a judge. I think that "professional inventor" guy is trying to fill his shoes and failing. He is trying, though, which is more than I can say for the British guy whom I thought would have Simon's straight-forward comments and dry wit that I expect of British now.
My little girl turns 6 months old this Thursday. She is almost ready to start crawling. She can push herself up on her arms or legs, but not both at the same time yet. She tends to push more with her arms so she getting pretty good at sliding backwards. She can roll around with ease. We have to watch her closely when she's on the floor because she rolls right off her blanket. She is also getting ready to talk. She says "dadadadada lalalalala mamamama nananana" among other incomprehensible stuff. She does say dadadada first, so she knows who spoils her more even if she doesn't realize she's saying it. ;) And last, but not least, we saw the top of her first tooth this morning.
Where does the time go.?
On the game dev front I am also almost ready for alpha testing of Sky Defenders. It's sort of a modern Space Invaders clone. Once some alpha testing and fun-factor testing is done I will hire someone to create all new graphics since right now it is using the images that came with the engine (Torque 2D Game Builder). I'm also going to need some music. All of that is around 2-3 weeks out. I plan to file for my DBA this week and go ahead and set up a business account. It should make it a little easier to file my taxes next year. :)
I was in Fry's on Friday and saw a guy walk by with 2 Xbox 360's in his cart. I immediately went straight back to the games section and asked if they had anymore. They just got them in and were still unloading them from the truck. Needless to say I stood there and waited. then proudly walked to the front of the store to pay for my new Xbox 360 Pro. I spent some time over the weekend playing Need For Speed Underground 2 and Halo 2. I spent a lot of time playing Hexic.
My gamer tag is below for anyone that wants to add me to their friends list or play a game sometime. It should show my gamer card in an IFrame. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. I really need to roll my own website so I can have better control over what it does...
Grand Wizard
I'm back from the holidays. We drove up to visit my family in Kentucky for Christmas. Imagine my wife, the baby, 2 dogs, and myself all stuffed into my truck with our stuff for an 1100 mile drive. With all the stops, that came out to about 18 hours of driving. On the way up there, we stopped halfway for the night. On the way back, Ann decided she was ready to be home so I got to drive straight through. I was tired when we finally got home. The dogs did ok; Turbo slept almost the whole way there and back while Sky stared nervously out the window. I think she was afraid we were going to leave her somewhere so she was memorizing the way home. :)
Alexandria slept most of the way too. She really didn't like Tennessee and cried during most of the drive through it. I think it is because all the big hills and corresponding change in air pressure made her ears hurt. She drools a lot because she hasn't learned she's supposed to swallow yet. I think if she was beyond that she would have been ok. She got to meet her great-grandmother, her grandfather (her grandma was there when she was born), and her aunts and uncles. We got pictures of everyone holding her, they were all excited.
Due to the trip and the neccessary sleeping afterwards, I didn't get much work done on my game. I think that's ok, though. It was much better to take an actual vacation, get away from computers, and just spend quality time relaxing and catching up with family. Oh, I forgot to mention this before. Turns out my sister is pregnant after years of doctors telling her she couldn't have children. The baby is due in March I think. They don't know if it is a boy or a girl because it was hiding during the ultrasound as opposed to Alexandria you wanted the world to know she was a girl. ;)
In my day job, I might be going to India for a week. That would be fun. Getting to meet many of the people I've worked with over the past few years, training them so we can work on some future projects together, travelling first class, ... On the other hand, if I don't go it would mean I don't have to spend a week away from my baby. I can see the bright side either way so I'll be happy either way. I'm also trying to feng shui my cubicle a little bit. I've added one of those little waterfalls to the corner of my desk (south west I believe). I'm also considering getting a mirror so I can see the entry behind me and maybe a little plant.
2006 will be the best year ever. Happy New Year.
Yesterday I went to donate blood at the
Blood and Tissue Center of Austin. It was to be the day I had donated a total of a gallon and get my nifty little coffee cup to prove it; except my blood didn't want to co-operate. I usually have no problems and am able to get out of there pretty quickly. I'm not sure if it was just too cold or if I was a little dehydrated or what, but about 3/4 of the way through my blood decided to clot up. And if it hasn't happened to you, let me tell you it hurts. At first I just felt pressure building up and the blood flow going through the tubes slowed down, so the technician (nurse?, medical student?) tried moving the needle around. Poking around in there with a sharp object didn't make it any more pleasurable. And the pressure just kept building. After a few minutes of poking I said that's enough, she pulled out the needle and there was a clot that looked about an inch long attached to the end of it like a piece of string. I didn't want to keep the cup since I didn't feel I had completely earned it, but she said since I got most of the way done and had to endure some pain that I deserved it.
I have been listening to Earl Nightingale's "Lead
the Field" series every night this week when I walk my dogs. I've
made it through most of the way, past the magic word, acres of
diamonds, etc... I vaguely even remember some of it.
:) However, the phrase above did jump out at me and stuck in my
head. It wasn't even a main concept of his, it was just a
supporting phrase mentioned once. When I heard it, my life ran
through my head and I realized how true it really is. I was
discontent with the environment I grew up in and wanted to get out, I
worked hard and the universe converged to help me move. I was
flat broke and had the shadow of moving back home to my parents
house looming overhead, again I worked hard and the universe rewarded
me with a job. I was discontent with my job so I worked hard and
did much more than the job required. It paid off quickly with me
getting big raises and promotions every year. Then something
changed. The stock market crashed and the company I worked for
had massive layoffs. I lost many good friends to that time.
For a long while I felt partly responsible, after all I was the one
writing programs to automate their jobs and made them redundant.
I made the job so easy it could be done with the click of a few buttons
and shipped over seas. I still feel that way sometimes, but I
know there's really nothing I could have, or should have, done
differently. Anyway, at that point something inside me
changed. I was just grateful to have a job and stay in the status
quo. Losing so many friends and money in the market made me focus
my discontent on my job. Having a manager that I didn't like
didn't really help the situation either. My motivation suddenly
went from doing the best job possible to working my 8 hours a day and
getting out of there to feel sorry for myself. I did a darn good
job of that if I say so myself. After all, I'm salaried now, why
should I put in all those extra hours if I'm not getting paid for
them. I'd worked hard for years and it was time to enjoy it.
Now, though, my original motivation is starting to
come back. I'm discontent with my environment and want better for
myself and my family. I was offered an opportunity at my day job
that would give me a lot of opportunities to learn new stuff and put me
in the spotlight more. Sure, I don't really like the attention
and would much rather just be another anonymous individual, but my
discontent is starting to build back up to be more than
discomfort. So I took it and I plan on my career starting to sky
rocket again after years of being on a plateau.
I just need to rememer to keep my discontent focused on what I'm really
discontent with and can affect, rather than focusing on something
meaningless that I can only complain about.
So I'm still working trying to get this whole stolen credit card issue
resolved. I'm am seriously considering just getting a new card
because my credit card company is being ridiculous. They still
haven't reversed the charges off my account a month later, even though
I have sent them the affadavit with the charges listed and the police
report number and everything else they have asked for. I'm a
charter member for pete's sake, I've had the card for well over 10
years. It's not like I'm trying to defraud you. Give me my
money back. They advertise all over their site that you should
set up recurring charges so that you don't have to mess with paying
bills. Well, all those recurring charges are now being denied and
I'm getting collection and disconnect notices. AT&T
Mastercard from CitiBank, get your act together. There are
commercials all over the tv about how if your card is stolen, the money
will be back in your account the next day. What they don't tell
you is that applies if there's only one charge made. If it is
used multiple times before the theft is discovered then you are out of
luck.
IGC 2005 (Indie Games Con) was fun. I got to meet a lot of new
people and see what everyone else has been able to accomplish.
I've started spending more time working on my games. Well, not as
much as I should since I recorded IGC and some of the sessions and I've
spent some time compiling the videos so I can post them for others to
download. I'll get them posted as soon as I'm able to pay my web
host (recurring bill on cc) and am sure it will stay up. I also
stayed for the Indie Torque Boot Camp. If you are a T2D developer
I wouldn't recommend it. For TGE and TSE, if you've got the time
and money, it's worth it. If you are using TGE or TSE and your
game has even the slightest chance to have multiplayer included, I
would highly recommend it. Everything that is covered is in the
documentation, the real difference is in the why. The docs tell
you how everything works, the TBC tells you why Garage Games did things
the way they did and how you can best use that to your advantage.
Alexandria is really growing. She had her 2 month doctor
appointment yesterday and was 10 pounds 13 ounces. That's 3
pounds in 2 months and puts her squarely in the middle of normal.
She also had to get a couple of shots and really didn't like that, but
as soon as I picked her up again she quieted down. I really do
spoil her and she knows it. :) She's been lifting up her head and
trying to roll over. She can get herself up on her side, but then
doesn't know where to go from there. Or maybe she just likes that
position. She's also trying to move around when we lay her on her
stomach. She pushes with her legs, but hasn't quite figured out
that she needs to move her arms too.
In my day job, I might start working from home permanently, except for
going in to the office once a week for team meetings and then on other
days as needed. Still, 4 days a week from home will be
great. It will give me the chance to get more done with fewer
interruptions, save me some gas money, and most importantly - let me
see my daughter grow up.
We had a cold front move in over the weekend, so we went from highs of
95 / lows of 65 to highs of 70 / lows of 40. Over the weekend the
wind was strong so it felt really cold. Yesterday and today it's
just been cold, which is nice. As long as the wind isn't blowing,
I like it.
My day yesterday started out pretty good. I'm getting ready to go
to the Indie Games Conference, Alexandria is starting to cry less and
sleep more at night, I'm pretty much done with my current projects at
my day job and getting ready to start on a new one.
Then I went online to check my credit card to make sure I had enough
money for my conference and the hotel. It was maxed out. I
started looking through the transactions and there were 3 charges
totaling $646.05 from Wal-Mart on three consecutive days last
week. Ok, I'll have to have a talk with my wife when I get home
about this. She's supposed to give me the receipts so I can keep
track of how much we're spending, and well, that's a little bit much to
spend and not tell me. She called me at lunch time to ask if I
was going to be going home and bring her something. I asked her
about the charges and she said she didn't knwo what they were and she
didn't even go anywhere last week anyway. She looked in her purse
and her credit card was missing. That is a horrible
feeling. So I called my credit card company and canceled the
card. I asked when I would get the money back for those because
I'm going to a conference and need it. I always thought if you
dispute a charge, it's taken off immediately until it's been
resolved. Boy, was I wrong. Because it was 3 seperate
charges, it's more than they can just put back on my account with out
an affidavit and police report and everything else. Which they'll
send me the form sometime next week. Great. What am I going
to do. At-least they are sending our new cards and I shoudl have
those before I leave. So I'll just have to make an extar payment
this month to get me through the conference.
I stopped at the police station on the way hoem to file a report.
It was about 3:00 pm, and they were closing up for the day, but the
detective was kind enough to stay and take my report. We are
pretty sure we know who did it, but we don't have anything beyond a
doubt yet. The good news is that the person used it at Wal-Mart
and as anyone who's ever been in there knows, there are video camera's
everywhere. I stopped at Wal-Mart on my way home from the police
station and talked to the manager, he assured me that they kept the
video for 6 months, so we should definitely be able to catch the person
who did this. Now we just have to wait for the detective to
contact them and get the tapes and find the portion of the video where
this particular transaction is being made. Then my wife and
myself will just identify the culprit. I'm pretty sure the
detective said that because this was done using a stolen credit card it
is automatically a felony, regardless of the dollar amount. Oh,
we also need to type up a statement in our own words describing
everything that happened as best we can remember and specifically
stating that we did not give anyone permission to remove the card from
my wifes purse or to use it for making purchases.
Wow, I didn't realize it, but it has been 3 weeks since my last
post. I've been so tired at home and so busy at work that the
time is just slipping away. Alexandria and Ann are doing
well. We are all just trying to get into a nice schedule, well,
all except Alexandria. She changes her schedule almost every
day. One day she wants to stay up late, the next she wants to
stay up in the middle of the day or early morning. She is staying
up a lot more now. When she was first born she slept all the time
except to eat. Now she stays up for a few hours sometimes.
Warning to anyone thinking about becoming a parent: babies are cute,
what comes out both ends is not; babies are cute when they are sleeping
or smiling, not so cute when they are screaming for an hour at 2:00
am. Think carefully about whether you are ready to completely
forget the rest of the world for a while, you will have moments of pure
joy and moments of pure misery. The moments of joy always cause
you to instantly forget the moments of misery.
On my diet, well I haven't been to focused on it. I've been
eating salads most days and junk food on others. Overall I am
still at 231 pounds so while I haven't lost any more, at least I
haven't gained any with my indescretions. Now that things
are getting semi normal with a semblance of a schedule, I definitely
plan to get back on track towards my goal of less than 200 pounds.
In game development, I haven't really done much of this either. I
am going to jump right back in with a renewed focus. I am
attending the
Indie Games Conference and Torque Boot Camp. I plan
to get plenty of motivation from seeing what others have done, and some
training to help take my productivity to the next level.
I know it's been a while since I last posted.
I've been really busy and really tired with the birth of my daughter,
Alexandria. She was born last Tuesday, August 23, 2005. It
was a relatively quick delivery without major complications. She
did have a little bit of jaundice so we had to stay in the hospital an
extra day and keep her on a bili-blanket over the weekend. She's
getting over the jaundice and is old enough now that she's mostly out
of danger. She also has a crack in her right clavicle so she
isn't moving her arm around too much. She looks exactly like her
mom. I was hoping she would atleast get my nose so she could wear
sunglasses:), but she's perfect the way she is. My beautiful
little princess. I'll eventually get around to posting some
pictures.
Needless to say, I haven't worked on my game at all
since my we had to deal with the INS and pick up my mom at the airport
that Monday, then spent Tuesday at doctor appointments and the
hospital. The rest of the week we spent in the hospital and over
the weekend I was just too tired. I'm still trying to catch on my
sleep. Her mom is even worse and really needs some sleep. I
also went of the South Beach Diet while in the hospital. It was
just too easy to go down to the cafeteria and get a cheeseburger or
pizza. I gained 5 pounds as of Saturday, but I am back down to
the 231 I was last Monday so I have already lost it. I've now
proven to myself that it is ok to cheat sometimes when I need to, then
jump right back on track and power on to my goal.
After 5 weeks on the South Beach Diet, I'm down to
231 pounds. An overall loss of 30 pounds. I didn't quit
make it to my goal of 230, but it was very close. I weigh less
than I have for 2 years and I'm close to halfway of my overall goal of
200 pounds or less. Not a bad start. I definitely feel that
I can make it.
So we went down to San Antonio this morning to visit
the BCIS (formerly INS). We submitted Ann's paperwork for
permanent residence a year ago, we still haven't heard anything and the
stamp in her passport was about to expire. We got there and they
told us they no longer accept walk-ins, we had to go online and make an
appointment. So we drove around for a while until we found a
kinko's and used their computer service to make an appointment.
We then drove back for our 9:30 timeslot and finally got called up at
10:30. WTF. Why do we need to make an appointment if they
aren't even going to follow them. Anyway, the man finally
politely explained to us the screwups that have been going on for years
on our paperwork as he looked through the various stamps in her
passport. He also couldn't find her status in the system, but
said that's normal. We should wait 3 or 4 months and if we still
haven't heard anything, drive back down to San Antonio. He
extended her status for another year with a new stamp in her passport
and that was it. I think he was just trying to get rid of us
because it's totally screwed up. The online processing dates were
at August 2004 for a long time, then jumped to December, and are now
June 2005. I think they round filed (trashed) a bunch of them,
including ours, just so they could say they were caught up.
They've been known to do that before and it woul dfollow our lucky :)
history with them. So we'll wait until Thanksgiving and drive
down there again. If we still haven't heard anything then it may
be time to get our state representative involved. We'll see.
The house is now ready for the baby. We spent
the weekend cleaning and even rented a carpet shampooer. I didn't
realize how much dirt was in our carpets, but they do look a lot
cleaner now. My mom gets here in a few hours. Hopefully the
baby will be here soon after.
Steve Pavlina posted his new personal development topic today,
The light at the end of the tunnel, and posed this question: Where are you right now - the light or the tunnel?
I am definitely in the tunnel. My dream from the time I was a kid
and played my first game (Beach head) on a Commodore 64 was to be a
game programmer. Well, except for those years I wanted to be an
orthopaedic surgeon when game programming was still there, just in the
background. I spent many nights as a kid programming small games in MS
Dos and q-basic. It takes advantage of my talents in math and logical
thi